Step #1: Hire a Manager
It may seem like a straight-forward step but it is the start of this cycle. Go out there and find a manager, the most expensive one on the market, preferably. Go big or go home right? As long as that manager is completely okay with being out of a job in 12-18 months.
Step #2: Play Quality Football
After you get that manager in, it is up to that manager to start playing well. Obviously. Play so well though, that no one questions whether or not your tactics are sustainable. Play so well you take someone else's squad to the Champions League final. Once you do that, you do not have to achieve anything else, then everyone will love you until the day you die. (or get sacked)
Step #3: Blackmail
This step is solely for the manager. Blackmail is the key to any manager at Chelsea getting everything they want in the transfer window, sometimes it is the key to getting things they do not want as well. It does not matter how you get it, but it is important that the blackmail is very strong. Some examples could be: War, being and ex-player of the club, scandalous pictures, or maybe the manager himself putting out to start rumors about the owners sexuality. Be as creative as you want. The more creative you are, the more money you get.
Step #4: Spend EVERYTHING
Now that you have achieved the blackmail, this is where the fun comes in. You can play great, decent, or bad football now. Most importantly, the window comes around and you can spend all the riches your owner has. We are talking quarter billion easy. Any player you can think of is attainable. Do not limit yourself, go for the white whale. Even if you spend one-hundred million, they come in for one season, score less than ten goals, and leave on loan. That is seen as a win.
Step #5: Start Playing Horrible Football
I am sorry to say to the future manager, this is where the fun will end. After you have spent all that money, and brought in all those players to fit your tactics, the football will cease to be quality. That is, if it has not already. Now the squad suffers, and you have no way out of it. I know, you're thinking you can get the lads going again and turn it around. Do not waste your breath. It's over. The only thing more certain than this, is Norwich being relegated from the PL.
Step #6: Sack the Manager
Now the time has come to sack the manager. Even if it is just out of a transfer window, which is the worst time to sack one. You can no longer lean on the quality football you use to play, or the Champions League you stole from another manager. The owner will finally have found a way to squirm out from under the blackmail, and he takes it out on the manager.
That is the cycle of management at Chelsea, after years of studying I know it to be true. Merely days after step six is completed, step one will be begin it all again. Tuchel has just reached step six, god speed to the next man entering step one. Graham Potter I hope you see this and stay away. Brighton >> Chelsea.
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